FF7 – Idle Confrontations

Title: Idle Confrontations
Author: Atra Materia
Fandom/Characters: Final Fantasy VII – Scarlet
Rating/Warnings: 13+ – Allusions to violence.
Summary: After the dust settles, Scarlet looks for a place to lay the blame.
Disclaimer: All content relating directly to Final Fantasy VII, including but not limited to its characters, events, and places, is the property of its original creators.

I know you despise me. Believe me, the feeling is mutual.

Vincent would like you to believe that I was used – that Shin-Ra took advantage of me, of my talents, for their own purposes. Maybe they did. But don’t think for a moment that I wasn’t using them as well. That I wasn’t taking advantage of what they gave me, what they made me into, for my own.

Don’t think I didn’t want to do these things. Don’t let anyone tell you I ever felt a twinge of guilt, because I didn’t. The only regrets I have are that I couldn’t finish what I started.

Don’t give me your false sympathy. I don’t want it. Don’t pretend you understand. You don’t. You can’t. Don’t pretend we can be friends, now that it’s over. You know better. We may not be enemies anymore, but you will never be on my side. You will never be on my good side.

You made me what I am. More than any shower of gil, more than any Shin-Ra kiss – it was a promise, and you made it. The promise of revenge. I don’t care if it wasn’t your hand; I don’t care if it wasn’t your colleague, your friend, your father; I don’t care if you don’t know the man who shot mine – if you weren’t even born. You’re all the same. You dreamed of freedom, and took mine away.

I hate you. The day I betrayed you was the sweetest day of my life; when I sold you out for a ride on a Turk, a ride to the plate.

I loved your tears, though. I loved your tears, and your blood. I loved watching the sunrise out an highrise window while reports of the war filtered in; I loved knowing I was the one who made it happen. I would have danced on your grave if I’d been given the chance, and I’d do it now if I got it.

I wanted to send you there. I almost did.

And then you almost sent me to mine.

I hate you! You weren’t satisfied with destroying the first half of my life; you had to go for the last, too! Taking my father wasn’t good enough; taking my virtue and selling it to the highest bidder wasn’t enough – I was a good girl, once; does that surprise you? It shouldn’t. You made me this way. Taking the man I loved, no, you couldn’t stop there, could you. You had to go for the only thing I had left – my Company.

Oh, it was mine; don’t you ever doubt it. I may not have been there from the beginning, no; I may not have borne the name; but it was me who made them what they are – were. Without me, who knows how the war would have turned out? Without me, there would have been no materia-boosted weaponry, no Mako Cannon, no Sister Ray. Without me –

Curse me, curse me if you want, because you know it’s true. And you know I curse you. I hate you, I hate you. Without you –

No, you made me who I am.

Should I thank you?

Author’s Notes: This was originally written as a bio-page for an informal RP, and makes more sense in conjunction with an older fic that’s currently down for revision.